A Sex Offender by Any Other Name is Still a Predator

Do you know who your neighbors are? Better still, do you know who your children’s friends are?

Would it even occur to you to consider that a playmate of your child’s could be a registered sex offender? It never occurred to me, and I could be the poster parent for caution. But that is exactly what happened to my family.

Several years ago I allowed a 12-year-old young man to become my 12-year-old son’s friend. I encouraged my son to maintain that friendship even welcomed that child into my home to spend the night and, to feel comfortable enough as if my home was his second.

I trusted this child so much I introduced him to my friend’s young daughters so they could correspond online. I told my youngest child that this was someone he could trust, someone he could go to in an emergency, someone he could feel safe with.

Now several years later I discovered this young man was a registered sex offender since the tender age of 11. Countless times he and his father came to our home for dinner. Think it was ever mentioned? Not at any time. There were many opportunities over the years, yet no one stepped up to tell me. He spent seven years on probation ... and yet I never knew.

This young man was a member of our church’s youth group -- having access to any number of young girls. Think it was ever mentioned? No.

I can’t help but wonder how many of those young girls might have been approached by this predator. There were parties and other social functions, and mission trips. Should the parents of the girls have been forewarned that a registered sex offender was within their daughter’s midst?

If I had a daughter, I would have wanted to know. I would have wanted the knowledge so I would be the one making the decisions regarding my child’s safety and well being. It would seem that no one thought the other parents, or me, had the right to this information.

‘This young boy was a registered sex offender.’ The words struggle to leave my mouth. ‘That’s for people who have raped and sodomize their victims.’ Suddenly I was faced with a myriad of questions. A boy of 11 had become a registered sex offender.

‘How had that happened?' 'What had he done to fall into that category of predators and perverts?' 'Who had been his victim?' His victim, as it turns out, was his eight-year old sister.

The abuser had been protected. Now, I discover, at the risk of my son’s well being. ‘Who was there to protect either of my sons?’ It would seem those who knew, were too busy protecting the predator.

What about those young girls I introduced this young man to so they could correspond online? Well, he continued to be a predator. The older of the two girls was 13, and he began a graphic discussion with her of what his intimate intentions were for her. His language was crude, his lies were frequent, he made threats to show up on her doorstep, and his words to her mother were equally crude and very disrespectful.

Clearly, there has been no change in his behavior. His years spent on probation taught him nothing, except how to hide his behaviors. So, what does the future hold for this adult predator?

[This article was originally written more than 8 years ago. Today, this offender is now married and has two children - one son, and one daughter.]

According to the authorities, sex offenders must re-register every year on their birthdays, must provide information on their current vehicle, and must provide a change of address, even if the move was only in town, and any other information required on a local level.

When an adult is convicted of a felony sex-related offense against a child, typically while they are on probation, they are prohibited from having contact with children under the age of 17. When a child is convicted of a felony sex-related offense against another child, limiting their contact with other children is not so easy.

For a juvenile offender, their contact with other children is restricted from children who are under the offender’s current age. Additionally, contact with younger children is allowed as long as appropriate adult supervision is in evidence.
In a classroom, on the playground, at soccer games, basketball games, Sunday school, church activities, friends homes. The availability of potential victims is almost limitless. It is up to you, to me ... to all of us, to protect our children from predators, regardless of their age or assumed innocence. We cannot blindly accept that children are safe simply because of their age.

The courts have the final word on probation conditions, which can include counseling, submission to DNA evidence data bank, neighborhood alert to the presence of a juvenile registered sex offender, and polygraph testing.

If an offender is a juvenile at the time of probation, that is younger than 17, then when the day of the 18th birthday is reached, probation stops. Also, after ten years of registering the juvenile offender is no longer required to register.

Each state has a web site that lists all the registered sex offenders, juvenile or adult. In Texas, the site is http://records.txdps.state.tx.us. The search will work with as little as a zip code entered. In most cases you can even click on the little magnifying glass to see their picture.

Once you know who the registered sex offenders in your area are, you can make intelligent and wise decisions regarding your children, and your family. As a parent, I encourage all other parents to check out the web site as it relates to your area. Don’t think that simply because a child appears to be polite and
well-behaved that they are suitable friends for your children.

Knowledge is power – it is my intent to empower parents with this knowledge.

Copyright, Debby Willett, All Rights, 2009-2010